one

Sometimes I wonder if everyone's memories are just a void of black shadows, or if it is only me who wanders in this painful world from which I cannot escape, gradually sinking deeper into despair

If this is truly the case, then will there be an angel, bursting into this darkness with radiance, extending its hands to save me? Perhaps, this is just an unattainable illusionary dream

Get up, make the bed, tidy up my appearance, repeating the monotonous and tedious tasks I do every day like a robot, and in the end, it was still the note on the kitchen table that caught my attention—"Wen Yu, Mom has gone grocery shopping, breakfast is already prepared, just heat it up in the pot."

On a July morning, a blurred sun hangs in the leaden gray sky, resembling a round stone that is teetering on the edge of falling at any moment

He was wearing the most common white coat seen on ordinary days, and the curve of his lips conveyed a sense of certainty. His fingers rhythmically tapped on the table in front of him: "Wen Yu, in my opinion, the main reason for your slow recovery is primarily your own issue, stemming from your rejection of everyone around you."

Out of sight, out of mind! Isn't it just about controlling oneself? Even if one doesn't know how, isn't it still understood to divert one's attention?

Ke Nuo did not care; he couldn't help but laugh again: "Look, this is the crux of the matter. It's not that I haven't guided you in the right direction, but rather that you always regard everyone with a malicious gaze. Weren't we having a good conversation before? Yet you suddenly put on a face that says 'Ke Nuo is a bad person,' haha ... ... ..."

Control oneself

Nino's voice gradually faded away in my ears

I stumbled backward a few steps, trembling as I fell in front of the trash can, gagging with my hands clutching my neck. In the blurred world filled with tears, Ni Nuo's angular face, adorned with a bold smile, appeared before me

I slowly opened my eyes, reached out to touch the phone by my pillow, and effortlessly pressed the screen to light it up. The time displayed was 6:43.

Is it mainly me? I raised an eyebrow and sneered, Aren't you pushing all the trouble onto me because you are already at a loss regarding my condition?

"Wen Yu." His voice suddenly became heavy, infused with a sense of rigor. "Psychological disorders are not something that can be controlled in an instant. You are currently in a highly unstable state, and an emotional collapse can occur at any time and in any place. Perhaps while walking down the street, you might see a piece of wood and feel a sense of gloom, leading to a loss of control. Therefore, what you need to do is to control, to exert every effort to control yourself..."

My tone was quite impatient, and I must have looked very displeased.

Due to poor quality sleep leading to mental fog, I emerged like a zombie from the warm blanket, staring blankly at the numbers on my phone screen for quite a while, only to remember that today is Sunday, and more importantly, that I do not need to hurriedly get dressed and wash up to attend the morning exercise that starts promptly at 6:30 every day, which made me feel much more at ease.

I know. My thoughts have been pierced, and I lowered my head somewhat bitterly, but I do not know what to do.

I covered my mouth in a daze, staring at the few innocent buns still lying obediently in the pot as if facing a great enemy. Then, like a spring, I jumped up from the ground and pounced over, slamming the lid down with a "bang".

I silently stared for a while, then quietly crumpled the note and tossed it into the trash can. After that, I silently opened the steaming steamer, where four dry, unappetizing buns were neatly arranged.

Due to excessive retching and feeling weak all over, I turned around and took a bottle of cold mineral water from the refrigerator, walked slowly into the attic, and simply began reading an English article

For some unknown reason, my head began to buzz, as if those buns were some incomprehensible danger signal. Suddenly, from my heart to every pore, I felt a rejection of this world.